Newspapers / The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, … / March 10, 1882, edition 1 / Page 1
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l-tf ' 1 - - - - L i i ' ; . - 1 - - - ' 8 ; ; -1 1 - : a SSSSSSSSBSBSSBS 1 - ; i - ..... .t . . ?M,MlMMSSSSSSSSBSSSS1BSSBSaSBBSSSSBSasSSSSBSBSSSSSSSSSSSS f-' 1 TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. One Tear..;. J......:....... .$2 00 Six Month's..-...".-', i. .. ......; 1 00 Special Requpftts, 1. In writing on business be sure to give the Postofiice matter. at whiah yon get your mail 2. In remitting money, always give both, mame and Postofiice. .. . 4 J !; 3. Send matter for the mail department on a separate piece of paper from auj thing for publication. k 4' Write communications only on one tid of the sheet. - SONGS Of NATURE-, Mt JOHX amiT.iii WHlfflM. The hup at Nature's adent strung - Has never teased to play; The songs that stars of morning tun Have never died away. And prayer is made and praise is givea. By all things near and far; The ocean look eta up to' heaven, And mirrors every star. Its -waves are kneeling an the strand, , As kneels tlie human knee, Their white locks bowing to the sand, The priesthood of the seat They pour their glittering treasures forth, - Their gifts of pearl they bring, ... And all the listening hills on earth , Take up the sonj. they tog;-'5' " ,The green earth sends her incense up From many a mountain shrine ; From folded leaf and dewy cup She pours her sacred wine. ' . The mists above the morning rills Rise wide as wings of prayer; The altar curtains of the hills Are sunset's purple air. The winds with hymns of prayer are loud, Or low with sobs of pain, The thunder-organ of tha cloud, The dropping tears of rain. With drooping head And branches crossed One twilight forest grieves, Or speaks with tongues of Pentecost From all Its summit leaves. The blue sky is the temple's arch, Its transept earth and air, - - The music of its starry march, The chorus of a prayer. 8o nature keeps the reverent frame - Wjth which her years began, And all her signs and voices shame ' The prayerless heart of man. MODERN DETECTIVE WORK. To begin with, I'll say that detective are divided into three general classes: shadows, investigators andropgrs. "When a man begins the business, he is put at shadowing. It is an excellent way to test him and see what stuff there is in him. If he will watch 'a house night after night in all sorts of weather, or a man day after day, without exciting suspi cion, it is pretty safe to employ him reg I nlarly. ' A good shadow is an important 1 part of a detective force. In a great many cases of crime, there is no clew. the criminal, but only a suspicion. Th shadow is told to watch such a man and see what he does, what sort of company he keeps, where he resorts; or he is told I to watch a house, see who goes in and out, what the character of the inmates is, what hours they keep. Now, in order to do this, a man must have tact, iutelli-1 gence,' perseverance. He must not only not excite the suspicions of the suspected parties, but he must not excite the sus picions of the police. It is very awk ward' for a detective to give an account of riimplf o a policeman. While the po liceman maybe the most honest and faithful in the wcr'd, it endangers the case If he knows a detective is around, and mentions it casually to a brother police man. - You' can see that to do his work well a shadow must be a man whose ap pearance will not provoke comment or attract attention.- You'd not make a good shadow. You're too tall. A very short man won't do. In fact a thoroughly lonplace-looking' man is the very .He should be young and active. e had office boys who developed considerable talent for that sort of work . Sometimes a boy can be used where a man cannot. He can hang around a kouse and make the acquaintance of ; other boys in the neighborhood, and the criminal, who may be watching from inside the house for a chance to steal out unobserved," may think the coast clear when he sees that there is no one around except two or three boys play ing marbles on the sidewalk. We had a case of this kind in Baltimore at the time of the robbery of the Third Nation- , al Bank there. We. wanted to watch a" house on Perry street, and we couldn't do it with our regular shadows. So we ' put a boy there. He was playing marbles when the man came out, and ' then1 gave the signal which resulted in his capture. But boys, as a rule, are ;not safe. They are likely to become too important in their own estimation, and , they may talk. Some great criminals may be captured by means of shadows. The Northampton Bank robbers were shadowed months before the arrest of v Scott and Dunlap. Billy Connors was shadowed two months, and Bed Leary, , before; his last arrest, was shadowed nine weeks by three different detectives. "The investigator," continued Mr. Pinkertou, " is the .man who, after a crime has been committed makes a - preliminary investigation. He usually . works with the local officers. He seldom pretends to work in secretl He looks the ground over, niinglpa with civilians, ; talks with every one, and forms bis con clusions. He j must be a man of greater intelligence than is necessary to make a good shadow. He reports the results of bis investigations, and on this report is decided the course to be pursued.' Per ' haps one result of his report will be that a shadow is put on " a certain man, -and an effort is made in that way to reach the truth in the matter. The prelimin ary hi veotigator, in short, opens the way for private investigation. " The roper must, to spfcak plainly, rope' men in. . He comes nearest to the dime-novel detective of any in the list, but fce k ft gi&at way off frou : that j'u- COmll "We ha ESTABLISHED IMS. gentlemanly person, social, of good ad-, dress, able to frame excuses for anything he may do or say, and'abla to turn the oonversation in any way he pleases. He must have traveled, must have a good knowledge of men, must be an easy talk er, but a better listener." " Is a detective's life particularly dan gerous?" " Not in the least. No more so than yours. When a man has the law on his side, and ' attempts to arrest a criminal,' there is not much danger. Criminals are very often cowards, especially our Eastern thieves and burglars. Occa sionally a young and reckless thief will attempt to shooC but such men are of the lower order of criminals. Burglars, counterfeiters, forgers, and the like, tefce chances of being arrested as one of the chances of their business. If you have the law on your side, and go at them in a proper manner, you'll win every time. There is everything in going strong enough. If a detective is foolish enough to go single-handed into a thieves' resort, hes bound to have trouble, no matter wno the criminal is. But in the West and South a detective takes his life in his hand. The detectives who are sent into Arkansas. Texas, Missouri, Western Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, the Indian Territory, and into the great South and West generally, run a tre mendous risk. We lost, five men in Missouri in eight monthslh looking up the James and Younger brothers. Our men were working for tho Adams Ex press Company at the time. The men who go out after such criminals "earn their money every time, I can assure you." f That suggests the question of pay.. Well, the pay runs all the way from $15 and $20 a week to $3,500 a year. The man that goes on a dangerous mis sion doesn't necessarily get higher wages. ' In fact he des not get them. He works for so much, and does what he is ordered to do. But at the same time a man is not asked to do a danger ous piece of worK against his will, it he hesitates he need not go. To succeed a man must go willingly. Of course the takt that a man succeeds in a dangerous piece of work is often the means of an increase of his. salary. Why, it's like any other business exactly. Each man his his alne. It won't do to work for a Reward. Human nature is human na ture, and when a man sees a big pile of money coming as the result of fixing a crime on some man well, it's often dangerous for that man, guilty or inno cent The work should be done for so much, whatever the result." "What is the average life of a detect ive?" f ' " Well, I don't know as to that. I think, though, they4 stick to" the-work oh. an average, say fifteen years. Then they get tired "of traveling, and want to settle down. Tney get situations in banks, hotels and other institutions." I "Are female detectives much em ployed or depended upon ?" "It is dimcult to get a respectable woman to do detective work. There are lots of them that claim to be detect ives, but they must be employed with caution. They are occasionally useful td work up a case against a woman. 'In ' such cases we usually employ a female rlative of some of our men a woman who knows what detective work is, and who is respectable. But we have to le very careful always in employing women." " Do detectives marry?" . I " Sometimes. But a man with a fam ily cannot, in the nature of the case, be as good a detective, as daring, as ready to go anywhere at a moment's notice as an unmarried man. But of course a good many of them marry." jjk " Are disguises much used ?" I " Not nearly so often as the student Of Gaborian would imagine It's all. nonsense, this talking of a man's so dis guising himself by false whiskers, a wig "and paint fcthat ae can pass unrecognized fn daylight. He might not be recog 403 zed, but he would surely le detected. The police will pounce on a man at once if they see him wear a false beard and jit's easy enough to tell a false beard inuch easier than a wig, and they are easily detected. . The shadows usually jbarry a soft cap or hat, or both, in their x)ckets to use in case of necessity ; and sometimes in the night a beard can be used, but not often. If the criminal has if , - I' dropped on' a shadow the best plan is to put another man on him. As I. said in the start, there's very little romance r mystery about a . detective's life." O. H. Pinkerton. in New York Sun. Edward Payson Weston? the great pedestrianic failure, is lecturing in En gland om temperance. He says lie has walked 5(, 000 miles in the last fourteen years, and that the training lie' has un dergone has improved his constitution. Thb Httle boy who . owns a handsome ister of sweet 18, or thereabouts, kthe luckiest chap in this country. The sister has many young-gentlemen visitors, of course, and the little brother is made siok four or five times a week with an overplus of candy. A Westkbn editor wrote an article on I . - t . ' j - ...,'!:... : . ' !; ' , A Family PUBLISHED AT R UTTI ERFORDTON , , C EVERY FRIDAY MORNING. NIGHT T2f LONDON. Come for a long London walk. This is Oxford street kt the junction of Mu seum, and before you is a sectipn of the British Museum, and behind you is one end of Drury lane, and to the left is Holborn, and this close by Chapman's gin palace, and right over yonder is St George's Church, and directly in front is Mudie's great circulating library. Noth ing in America like Mudie's. All the hew works there by scores and hundreds. All the old works, and wagons coming and going all the time loading up books and distributing thep -ur hire. St George's church yard; File of charity children taking melancholy evening ex ercise. Poke bonnets and drab gowns, and all as hideous as sweet charity can make them. Going round and round and round and round. The tallest at one end and the toddlers at the other. Curious crowd peer .at them through the iron railings. Blessed little brands are these, plucked from f the burning and denied the luxury of the dirty-faced urchins outside, who play in the gutters. What hour is it ? It is any time, and this is Oxford street, and we will call it 11 o'clock Saturday night. The night of nights in London, when the British laborer spends his week's wages for gin. And his wife, knowing well his -proclivi ties and haunts, ; goes after him at 10 o'clock to save enough from his wrecked earnings to get something for Sunday's dinner , and here she is trying to urge him away from the alehouse. Failing to do this she sometimes abandons her self to gin nnd despair, falls to and gets drunk with Mm. A mile from Musoum street to the Marble Arch, corner of Hyde Park, and a mile back, on a Sat urday night are two miles full of drunken laborers and mechanics, sober and cry ing wives, drunken and crying children tugging at the maternalskirt or the pa- lernai coai-ian ; iainer Desougnc to re turn td the family iiearth clinging in drunken doggedness at lamp-posts, and occasional mothers, with bonnets awry and bared arms, tride to and fro in bacchanalian fury until the stiff and i i ' i . solemn policeman aornonishes them to retire. Plebeian Lbndon drinks sri and plebeian Paris its cheap red wine. Paris chatters over its drink. London wallows. London has the most stee ples and sends abroad the most mission aries, and Paris has the reputation of beiDg the wickedest of modern cities. Prentice Mulford, in San Ih-ancisoo Chronicle. ' A. COLD I) AX FOR MAGIC. Everybody has read the marvelous stories of traveling magicians mystifying people by exhibiting their skill in public places. Of all the leading wizards such stories are published, and in fact they have the discernment to see that no better advertisement of their perform ances could possibly be obtained. One day Baron Seeman was riding on a San Francisco streetfear and taking in hia fellow-passengers with the usual blandly unconscious eye of The prestidigitateur, when he suddenly turned and said to' a' rough-looking young man on the same side : jj 1 " Pardon, my friend, but you will lose your watch the chain is hanging." "Hain't got no watch," growled the youth. ' j) "Excuei me, but. you are mistaken. Look there !" J The hoodlum, who unfortunately had been at the theater jthe evening before, and who had just recognized the magi cian's face, took hold of the chain, pulled the watch out of hii pocket, stared at it a moment, and then said : " Why, to be sure ; how careless of mo ! 'Kliged to you, Baron," and stepping briskly from the dummy ran up a neighboring alley, leavicg'tlie Baron staring alter ms stem-winder with a paralyzed expression. San Francisco Post. Ji" 1" , TAX,KEBS. The art of conversing is not cultivated as much in these days as it was by our fathers. Men who; can talk well also write well, and, as their writings have a pecuniary value, they reserve their good things for the public who pays for them. Metternich mentions in his Memoirs' a fact whicl indirectly suggests what a good talker should be. He says : "In my whole life I have only known ten or twelve persons with whom it was pleasant to speak a. e., who keep to the subject, do not repeat themselves and do not talk of theniselves ; men who do not listen to their Own voices ; who are cultivated enough not to lose themselves in commonplaces ; and, lastly, who pos sess tact and good taste ' enough not to elevate their own j persons -above their subjects. Youth's Companion: AN ITERESTED AUDIENCE "I think I made a sensation," said Brown. "All the j time I was speaking, the whole audience received" my state ments with an open-mouthed eagerness ! that was really wonderful." "Gaping is nothing very wonderful," remarked . Fogg, in his usual exasperating man ; ner. Boston 2'ramoript, .'- f In' St Louis a! man was fed seven months through ft hole in his stomach, . and dk'd of a dike&ae due to anutbr II- yi' XI ft I VI .' -i 4 Newspaper; Devoted to Home Interests and TilK MODEBN PRIMES. x. ;'. This is a Fourth Corporal! He Walks stiff Legged behind a Company of Sol diers and Carries a Musket at Half-Mast He is Fond of Human Blood and De lights in Carnage. Has the Fourth Corporal ever , been in ; a; War? No. Then what does he Know about War? He has a Cousin who Married a Man by the Name of Gunn. I '. r ii. r, . Ia this a Brass Foundry No it ua Traveling Man. He carries, big Trunks all over the Country and Makes Love to Dining-room Girls. He has Been all Over and Under Europe and Taken in all the Great Masters. He has ' Scoured the Alps clean. He can Tell 'more Smut ty Stories than a Politician, and? ha can get Bilin' slower on: More Liquor than any Government official. The best Way to get along with. Traveling Men is to get along Without them. ? ?! The baby's Nose is a Queer ; sort of Thing. The baby cannot Walk; but its Nose can Run. - Take1 the bottle of Ammonia and hold it Under tijo. baby's JNose ami bee what a ijimny ace the baby . will Make. . There is Nothing like a Baby's getting used to-Ammonia young. ' v fi Mamma is. Larruping Papa with the Mop Handle. The children are' Fight ing over a Jf lece oi .Fie in the Jutchen. Over the Piano there" is a Beautiful Motto gilt Frame. The Beautiful Motto says there is no Phice likeHome. Here, we Have a Business Mjuiager of an livening Paper. He is (Blowing about the Circulation of the Paper. He is Saying the Paper hag "Entered upon an Era ,of Unprecedented Prosperity. In a Minute he will Go up Stalr and Chide the Editor for leaving' Jm Gas Burning while he Went out for si Drink. Little Children, if we Believed "Business Managers of Evening Papers, went to Heaven we would Give up our i Pew ki Church. Denver Tribune? i ' ENGLISH RAIL WA F CARS.. English railway cars 'generally are limited to threes classes.. Each .divided into several compartmettts, niostly four, each compartment beiug entered by a door on the side, and ; separated by a closed partition from the compartment adjoining. These partitions render im possible the characteristic Jonj halls of L tne American train, anaApniy ijy means of a small platform extending " on the outside can one section be entered from another. This platform is also utilized by the guard in ccllectiag!; the tickets of the passengers, and the same are passed to him through the com)artmesat win dows. The cars being -entered ''on the side, one-half of the passengers must ride backward, and if the train be full the four persons who enjjoy the window seats are the only ones;-; who ride with comfort, 'and eatclv feven imperfect glimpses of the scenerythrough which the train passes. " 4 The first-class compartment iare the most expensive of all. Te floor1 is gen erally covered with a rug -which is clean and new. The windows Tghsterj and are ta.stefully curtained, ruiously cushioned. The seat are lux- Tlie second-class compartments, as a rule, are not much less ehjofortiblethan the first The floor isioften lare, but clean, the seats are lessV- elegantly up holstered. A good second-class car in England or Gennany isleiten n6re rich ly furnished than the mc&ge rst-class car in Italy or France? if but 'in either country cushions, curta)ns and comfort are generally wanting , m third-class compartments. In the English the floor Is bare and often covered' with Urt, the windows are dusty andi ijhe boards for seats are hard. On account oftthe low rates of fare the mass o-1aie people pre fer this class, and the Cvrs- are generally crowded. c i'z Between Liverpool ihdr Lc-rfdon, by the Northwestern Company's tj'ams, for a first-class carriage the charges about $8.25 in American currency; fof a second class, $5.25 ; for a thirj class,! only $4. Tlie third-class compartment, too,' may be on the same Cr with jthe first, or, if not, attached at feast to :the same train. First-class passerers arelallowed more baggage than tha third, although in either case articles thatl tan be crowded under the seat go-(ree. All luggage is weighed but ia never ichecked, and for any excess above a certain weight a ticket is required. . ; PET NAMES. , p He ' May I call yoji Re veng'e ?" She-r-"Why?" He" Because ' Revenge isSweet ' " She-" Certainly youfmay ; provided, though, you will let me! call yop-Venge-anoe." ' J j- . . He " And why would ' you: call me Vengeance?" t N , ' ', tShe ' Because ' Vengeance is mine. ' ff; A. Musics publishing: firm lately re ceived an order for a piece" of r&usic en titled ''The Clock onthe Cheese-par-mg." After it had passed aOut tlie store a bright elerk filled it saiisfactor. ily with "The WateU.o tha Mkm"s- General Sews TELE V. RAMRIX mE XEXJut, The jaok-rabkit is an inhabitant of Texas and soma other Western States. He is often called the ' ' mule- eared rab bit," and, by the cowboy, ia familiarly spoken of as the "mulay. He is not a rabbit at all. A rabbit is an unobtru sive little animal, who is found by school-boys in a hole in the ground at the end of a long track in the snow. The so-called jack-rabbit is quite a dif ferent kind of soup-meat He is identi cal with the British hare, except that he is larger, his color lighter, and his ears much longer. His avoirdupois is about twelve pounds, and his ears measure from tip to tip about sixteen inches. He does not burrow in the ground. He lies under cover of a bunch of prairie grass, but is very seldom found at home, ids office hours being between sunset and sunrise. He is to be found during the day on the open prairie, where he feeds on the tender shoots of the mesquite or sage grass. The jack rabbit has sev eral enemies, among them the cowboy, who shoots him with his rifle, the coy ote and the dog that tries to run him down. He has two ways of protecting himself against his enemies. One way is to squat when he suspects danger and fold his ears along his sides. . By doing this he often escapes observation, j as only his back 'is exposed, the colorf of which harmonizes with the brown of the withered grass. The other plan that he uses when discovered and pursued is to create remoteness between himself, and his pursuer. In giving his whole atten tion to this matter when necessary, he is a stupendous success and earnest to a fault When disturbed he unlimbers his long legs, unfurls his ears and goes off with a bound. He generally steps after running about 100 yards, and looks back to see if his pursuer is enjoying the chase as much as he thought he would, and then he leaves for parts unknown. There are many fast things, from an Ice boat to a note maturing in bank, but nothing to equal the jack-rabbit :An unfounded rumor gets around pretty lively, but could not keep up with him for two blocks. When an ordinary cur dog.tries to expedite a jack-rabbit route he makes a humiliating failure of it He only gives the rabbit gentle exercise. The latter merely throws up his! ears, and, under easy sail, skims leisurely along, taoking occasionally to give the nneral procession tame to eaten upj But if you want to see velocity, urgent speed and precipitated haste, you have only to turn loose a greyhound in the wake of a jack-rabbit. Pursued : by a greyhound he will " let himself out" in a manner that would astonish a prepaid half -rate message. If he is a rabbit that has never had any experience with a greyhound before, he will start off at an easy pace, but as he turns to wink de risively at what he supposes to be an or dinary yellow dog he realizes that -there is a pace in nature hitherto unknown to him, and the look of astonishment, alarm and disgust, as he furls his ears and prompdy declines the nomination, is amusing. Under 6uch circumstances he goes too fast for the eye to follow! his movements, and presents the optical il lusion of a streak of jack-rabbit a mile and a half long.4sn Texas) Sift ing8. H girl jposT-nors. i In his book, " The Land of the Mid night Sun," Mr. Paul B. Du Chaillu gives many novel experiences. Not the least interesting oi these were his; rides with girl drivers over Scandinavian reads. "At every station in Finland, nea writes, l nad a young girl for a driver, and these children" of the north seemed not in the least afraid of me. My first driver's name was Ida Cathe rina ; she gave me a silver ring, and was delighted when she saw it on my finger. I promised to bring her a gold one the L frkllrinrinar -ai n art fl IrAnf. m v xtrnrA She was glad, indeed, when at the ; end I the drive, alter paying, I gave her: a silver piece. Another driver, lis years of age. was named Ida Carolina. ; The tire of one of our wheels became loose, but she was equal to the emergency she alighted, blocked the wheel with a stone, went to a farm house and: bor rowed a few nails and hammer, and with the help of a farmer made everything right in a few minutes : she did, not seem in the least put out by the accident ; she chatted with me all the time, though I did not understand what she said, for I did not then know the Finnish : lan guage. She was a little beauty,' with large blue eyes, thick fair hair, and rosy cheeks." j ; PROTECTION AGAINST CONTACHON. Precipitated lao sulphur is one of the most excellent as well as simple, and safe preventives against contracting any and all kinds of contagious diseases. It is conveniently used by placing a pinch of it in each stocking as often as they are changed. Under the direction of the noted Dr. Herring, of Philadel phia, sulphur was used as above, with the most remarkable success, as a pre ventive of cholera during its terrible rtrAVfriAnaA in that citv manv vears since, ! as well at of nearly aU other contagious TERMS $2.00 Per Ad. A STRANGE STORT. 1 The prevalence of drunkenness in the State prison at Auburn puzzled tha offi cers for a long time. It was at first sup posed that whisky was brought in by some oae, but finally it was discovered that a distillery was in full operation within the walls of the institution. An enterprising convict had rigged a "worm" in 'a secluded spot in the kitchen, and, with corn meal, and rye, was able to pro duce a liquor that would intoxicate who ever drank very much of it The man did a thriving business, and when he was discovered he was making money at a rapid rate. "Beer," as it is called, is made even at this day. The beverage is a brewing of bread crust and yeast and is exhilarating, if nothing more. The men in the kitchen make it and sell it to the prisoners. At one time counterfeit ing was actually carried on in the prison. Imitations were made of . silver coins which would readily deceive unless closely examined. Molds were made of plaster of paxis, and the 10, 25 and 50 cent pieces were plated in the saddlery hardware shop. The convicts were well supplied with this bogus money, and a great deal of it found its way into circu lation outside. The men are not allowed to carry watches, but a great many of them do, notwithstanding the rule to the contrary. Usually the watches are kept in leather bags which are suspended by a string about the neck underneath the clothing. A good many of the prisoners read the newspapers regularly. How they obtain them is a mystery. The New: York dailies reach Auburn at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, aud often they will get into the hands of the convicts the same even ing. Of course, each prisoner is : not supplied with a paper. One paper will do for a dozen men or more. The news papers must be brought in by officers who are a little lax in discipline. It is supposed that all letters written by con victs, pass j through the hands of the chaplain, whose duty it is to see that they contain no mischievous or im proper language. Half of the men ,in the prison isend and receive letters that the chaplain never sees. These "go through the underground," as the offi cers say. . Generally they -are taken in and out by citizen foremen, whose sympa thies the men enlist Some .of the con victs send out for raw steaks, which they broil at the forges and in the . fur naces. Others prefer cake and pie, for which they will spend every cent they L can procure. - Joe Coburn used to pave two large mince pies sent to him regu larly twice -a week from New York. : Finally the agent told Joe that he would be compelled to deny him his toothsome pastry, and the semi-weekly shipment of pies was discontinued. New'. York Times. A BUSINESS TRANSACTION. A man went into a "clothing sore in Lawrencej Mass., and bought a hat fqr $3.50, leffi his old one, and said he would pay for it when he came back. In half an hour he returned, and entering the store met the proprietor, who was ab sent at his first visit The proprietor was glad to see the man a neighbor of his but, observing his new hat a shadow passed over his face, and he said : "Where did you buy that hat? lean sell you a hat just like that, and a good deal cheaper, than what you paid for it, I know." This pleased the neighbor, and, his eye twinkling he asked how cheap he would sell him one. " Well, you are a neighbor of mine, and you sha'l have one for just $1.75." " Very well," replied the customer, "Fll take this one which I have on, which I got here half an hour ago, and just returned to pay for " and he counted out $1.75 and departed for his suburban home, ' : i IS- :1 at Ina bargain, . - AN INCTOENT AT A REVIVAL JUEET- , INO. In the little .town of Periinsula there lives a disciple of Blackstone who had acquired more than a mere local repu tation as a collector of hard bills. His ability in this direction was so well re cognized that a threat of a weary credi tor to hand the bill to McNeil for collec tion would usually extract shekels from the toughest canaler. A few months since Peninsula was visited -with an awakening grape. Protracted meetings were held, and many wanderers were gathered into the fold." On one occasion, at an experience meeting, one of the elect, Brother Coleman, arose to testify.. In one corner of the building slumbered a rough, rugged canal boatman, who awakened with the discourse. " My dear brethren and sisters," said. Prot Coleman, I sarved the - devil more'n iMrty year, and he never gin me a cent of pay" At this juncture the canaler, who had not taken in tiie principal idea sought to be advanced, roared out in stentorian tones : " Send ia the account to Bill McNeil, and he'll collect every blasted cent of if Times of the greatest calamity and vkfnairr hftvA ever been oroductive of 'the oTeatent minds. The purest ore j comes from the hottest furnace ; ' the ADVKSTIS1XG BATES. One i neb, one insertion... ....$1 00 Ope i.ucb, each substquent insertion... 60 .Qirtr f, .tnii-auDnar or Yearly trac wiil be n aJe oo liberal terms. con Obituir! s . hikI Tributes of respect c'Large'lfu-rat a iveriisin rates. No ooiamunicatioiis will be published nn less acconr-paofed bv the full name and ads ?ress of the wiiter.' These are not requested for publication, but as a guarantee of good, faith. All communications for the paper, and business letters, should be addressed to " THE BANNER. Rutherfordton, N. C rLEASJjriRiaa. Moses was a Rush un. A debtor's tree Willow. Hot wether Boast mattan. Goes against tie tide A decree of di vorce. A boarding -house keeper's treer 'Ash. A man feels bowlder when he has the rocks in his pocke. A good whisky sling Sling the bottle out of the window. . An aeronaut, after inflating his bal loon, highs him away on his trip. " Dzjine gentleman," yon iy I Wen, yea, I think I can I He's as gentle as a woman, and as manly aa a maa. London Truth. The evil that men do' lives after them. Co ws, likewise, do not give oleomargarine until they are dead. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Very few Jacks will become dull boys if left to themselves. What is that which you cannot hold ten minutes, although it is lighter than a feather ? Your breath. . A voujia married man whose house rent is paid by his mother-in-law alludes to her as his darling pay-rent Humorists are not necessarily dark eyed, but we have seen a good many practical jokers with black eyes. An Ohio man has taken the small-pox from a pet pig. When once this disease gets into a family it is pretty sure to go through it . ' - Old Ocean may be excused for . "lashing himself to fury " occasionally, . on the ground that he has been crossed a good many times. The' condor of the Andes is said to kill his prey with his bill, and the mil liners of this country are trying the game on married men. Atmospherical knowledge is no thoroughly distributed to our schools. A boy being asked, "What is mist?" raguely responded, " An umbrella." Some fellows are never satisfied. Wa know a. chap who sat down to dinner wiih twelve females, and then had the concentrated cheek to call for molasses. " Mr day's, work's big gun," as the foundry man said when he commenced to cast a cannon." "My day's work's ore," said the man at the t last-furnace. Conjurors astonish an audience by taking rolls of ribbon from their mouths, but, then it is a common thing to see a carpenter take hammer and nails out of his chest. The brilliant Sophia Arnold when she heard of a certain diplomatist that had been eaten by the wolves, ex cl aimed : . " Poor brutes I Hunger" must indeed be a terrible thing 1" ' The most difficult man to ' please that I ever saw," said an old Judge, "was my friend, Col. , who didnt wish to be lied about and couldn't bear to have the truth told of him." , "You must have been leaning up against the banisters, Angey, dear," af fectionately remarked the fair girl's grandmother as she brought her spec tacles to a correct focus and took an other look at the stains in the waist of Angey 'a dress. " Them ain't no banis ter stains," returned (he truthful maid en. "Charley was feeding .me caramels last night, and I guess them's the print of his fingers.' , New York shoemakers are unbosom- ing themselves as to the wonderful structure and astounding peculiarities of New York feet One of them says' : "I know men and women whose feet are so broad and flat that we have to. make each last in four sections, in order to get the last out after the shoe is made The finest-looking men generally have the ugliest feet? An editor out West annoumeed that he would cease to publish the big takes of game from hunters, unless he should share some of it The very next day he had carted to the' door of his residence a dozen blackbirds and a dead mule. Tha next day he wrote : " Never mind the game notices will be published : as usual." Of ex-President Hayes' children one, Webb Hayes, is a manufacturer in Cleveland ; Birchard Hayes is practicing law with young'Mr. Waits in Toledo; Rntherford Hayes, Jr., is at school in Boston, and the younger, children go to the public school in the village of Fre mont - A wktteb in the Lancet strongly ad vocates open carriages for doctors : "An open vehicle enables the doctor to purify himself, even to hip hair, after quitting each sick-room, thus insuring safety not only to patients, but also to the members of his family." ' "What? Seven dollars for this I Why, you only charged me $2. 60 for that fine large oil piece on the wall there." Great artist r "Exactly so. That little bit in your hand is done in water-oolor. They come high now ou 1 1; .- I WM "l .. in- I? t ! i r-
The Rutherford Banner (Rutherfordton, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 10, 1882, edition 1
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